New Prologue, but it is still subject to change

 

      My name is Frank and this is a story about how everything I thought I knew got smashed into bits by two insane assholes. They truly opened my eyes for the first time in a very...very long time. In doing so they sacrificed more than anyone will ever know.

     That’s pretty fucking rude Frank. Honestly if you are talking about the two of us that is not cool at all.

     Calm down, I’m trying to explain this whole mess and you aren’t helping.

     Explain it to whom? And telling your asshole friends to shut up is a dick move Frank. You are better than that.

     Anyone who will listen, now will you please let me tell our story?

     Yeah tell your story Frank. But there isn’t anyone here but us man, just the three of us. The three amigos. The three musketeers, which actually works pretty well. But you have to be the fourth third musketeer, because he was the new guy.

 How were there four amigos, if there were only three of them?

     Don’t worry about it big guy, I’d explain it to you, but you know how you get with numbers. And really, the best you could come up with was, "How were there four if there were only three of them?" That is not good buddy, you need to work on it. Frank just called you an asshole, why are you worried about the number of Musketeers?

     That is pretty harsh, but a fair enough point.

     Holy shit, shut the hell up. I’m trying to frame this story so folks will know what they are about to read.

     Read what?

     This!

     I don’t follow, it sounds like you’re talking to someone else, but like I said, there isn’t anyone else.

     Never mind, just let me do this and we can go get some beers.

     Now you’re making sense. You go ahead and ramble to the nothing and I’ll sit here and pretend you don’t sound like an insane crazy person. And I’ll try my best to overlook the asshole part.

     Like I was saying, my life was pretty normal until I met these two… guys. They sent me on a journey of self-discovery and adventure that would…

     Hahahahaha! That sounds dumb as shit man. Seriously where is your purse at. You might as well say it was a coming of age tale about how you fell in love with a sparkling vampire. But your Pa was against the whole thing so you two dudes ran off to one of those silly communes.

     God dammit. Can I please tell my story? This is important to me.

     Sorry Frank, really I am sorry. Please continue telling your story kind sir.

     An adventure that would… Stop laughing.

     I’m not!

     An adventure that would change everything, if you can call it an adventure that is. It was more like a bunch of loosely related events that made little sense and culminated into further madness. The two gentlemen that caused this, reintroduced me to a world I could never admit was real. They brought my past back to me and exposed the errors in my ways.

     We didn’t expose you to anyone, that’s some low brow shit man. What kind of story are you telling about us Frank? Seriously, if you make us look like nerds I will have a friend of mine beat you senseless.

     You don't have any friends.

     Who needs friends? Especially ones that keep telling their imaginary friends that we are exposing them people.

     I mean expose in the sense that you made things known to me that were otherwise unknown or long forgotten.

     Oh, well that wouldn’t be hard. You were kind of a square. Plus your memory is shit. Just let me know who the fuck you are talking to and I will just tell them the story myself. You know I am awesome at making things sound better.

     I met people, killed some of them and most of them tried to kill me. It was an eye opening experience to say the least. I constantly questioned what was real and what wasn’t, ultimately wishing that none of it was and that I could go back to my ordinary uneventful life.

     Then it’s a good thing none of it is real then Frank. Hell we aren’t even real; we’re just voices in your crazy head. Like those jerks you are talking to right now.

     I’m pretty sure I’m real.

     Well we aren’t. Frank made us up to cope with his stupid life.

     Oh.

     I didn’t make you up, you idiots are real. I’d be dead if you weren’t real.

     That’s what we want you to think, your crazy brain made us up and now it has also convinced you that we are real tangible beings that can affect your world.

     I’ve seen you affect this world, in pretty big ways.

     Yeah, I’m with Frank on this one. I’m pretty sure we are real.

     Then it’s worse than I thought, we are fragmenting and the hallucinations can’t even decide what we are now!

     Shit is right big guy, Frank is losing it!

     I’m not losing anything, you guys are real.

     How can you be so sure of that?

     Well for one thing there is no way I could drink as much as you do without dying, so I can’t be the one drinking all the beers I find around the house.

     Fair point.

     I think he has you on that one.

     Yeah, I guess we could be real. But that could mean that Frank is made up and we are the crazy ones.

     It doesn’t. We are all real.

     Good, I like being real.

     I knew we were real Frank, can’t you take a joke? Shit man, it’s like every time you start talking to nothing about some crap or another you get all serious. It doesn’t suit you.

     Sometimes I wish you really were just voices, it would mean none of this happened and I’d just be committed somewhere with padded walls.

     Bullshit Frank, you love all this.

     Maybe I do, but now everyone can see what I’m dealing with.

     Who can?

     God dammit. Here is my story, I hope it explains things.

     Explains what? To who? What the shit is going on Frank?

     Let it go brother, it’s probably not important.

     Fine, but I’ll figure out what Frank is up to. One way or another. Oh shit, I think I get it. Frank, make sure to tell them how you were a shit private eye when this started, and that you didn't even wear that cowboy hat. Oh shit...tell them about how Neph almost killed you for thinking she looked hot in the leather I made her wear. People love hot chicks in leather. Honestly, you are messing this all up Frank. As much as you talk, you should be way better at telling stories. Shit, just tell them it is a story about the end of the world. People love that shit.

     Fuck it. This is a story about the end of the world.